Day 3

So it's mid-afternoon, the time of day where I start thinking about wine after work. Thoughts of stopping at the gas station and picking up a bottle and heading home to relax on the couch. I really don't like this time of day! I've already had to tell that voice to "shut it!" a couple times, and I'm sure I will a few more before the day is over. Even more difficult today is that no one will be home fore quite a few hours after I get home. That was always my favorite time to drink wine.

So I've made a plan. I'm going to drive straight home; I'm not stopping for gas (thankfully, I really don't need any today). Then I'm going to take the Doberman on a long walk before I need to pick my son up from marching band practice. Then I'm going to get online and read recovery success stories for a while. Hopefully that will get me over the hump. If I make it past 6 or 6:30, I should be in the clear.

In the last few days, I've caught myself thinking a number of times that I don't really think my drinking is all that bad. When I compare myself to people on Intervention or even to what I've been reading in the books I've downloaded, I think "hey, maybe I'm being too hard on myself; I'm not that bad. I probably just need to cut back." So I made myself write down a list of all the things I've done while drunk that I'm not proud of. It's quite a long list, and I'm not even done! I actually had to stop because my hand hurt! When that voice starts up telling me I can drink and keep it under control, I'm going to read that list. It's a sobering list...